Martial arts vs real life
I have always assumed that in a real fight - one with determined and unexpected opponent who actually wants to hurt rather than score a few points and then settle down to a nice discussion of manga - martial arts fans would to a man fold like a wet paper bag. This qotw is doing nothing to change that impression.

There are an awful lot of people telling us what they would do if their amazing kung-jujikarate skills were needed in a fight, but damn few who tell us what they actually did do in such circumstances. Which I suspect would be "Wet myself, then ran away to throw up and cry".

Fight story? Sorry, I'm with Rincewind. Running away's my strategy, every time.
(ubergeekian, Sat 16 Mar 2013, 18:11, 11 replies)

Run away!
Hi ho Luggage, awaaaaay!
Oh, and *click*
(Tiktock Beating off flamers with a shitty stick, Sat 16 Mar 2013, 19:25, closed)

Walk, don't run.
If you make a discreet exit while everyone's attention is elsewhere, you've got less chance of being caught up in the shitstorm.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 16 Mar 2013, 20:17, closed)

Fuck that shit.
Do the MC Hammer shuffle.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 16 Mar 2013, 20:27, closed)

I think my general policy
is to move away faster than at least one other person. If that person looks richer than me, so much the better.
(ubergeekian, Sun 17 Mar 2013, 13:29, closed)

this is the internet
how many of them do you think could actually manage more than a brisk trot?
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 17 Mar 2013, 15:23, closed)

I fucking love watching unfit fatties in a rush.
It's pure pleasure. Sweat it up, big boy. You catch that bus.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 17 Mar 2013, 18:12, closed)

Are you surprised?
Even mentioning you've got any martial arts training is met with jibes of disbelief and accusations of boasting.

Describing (however wittily) how you’ve used these skills isn’t going to get you many clicks. Just comments from dicks.
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 7:32, closed)

It might get more credibility
if it was called "fighting" rather than "martial arts", which hints simultaneously at goatee beards and pot bellies. Still, since I posted someone has described how he used his superior ninja skills to get badly beaten while failing to project the friend who was rendered unconscious. So not everyone shares your reticence, grasshopper.
(ubergeekian, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 8:56, closed)

I think the goatee and pot bellies is from watching too much TV
I would refer to “Martial Arts” rather than fighting, because it encompasses much more than just hitting someone. The fitness and discipline are often just as big a reason to train, and often self-defence isn’t actually fighting at all.

Technically a boxer doesn’t learn to “fight”, as he can’t kick, punch below the belt, etc. He learns to box (which he may use in a fight).

I admit some people think it can sound elitist, but I’ve trained with people from all walks of life. From my experience there are fewer big headed bullies practicing, because you start at the bottom and have to show respect.

Like most people that practice, you know you’re not perfect, as demonstrated in lessons where a white belt gets that lucky kick in, or the child managed to dodge one of your punches. That’s why we’re often reluctant to get into a street fight. Why would we fight if there’s a chance of getting hurt? It’s the drunks or young lads that think they are better than they are that usually instigate aggression.
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 10:02, closed)