The day before my sisters wedding
Me and a mate went for a pint. This mate had a gift for opening his big fat gob and saying the wrong thing. After closing time we were crossing over a road away from a massive group of very threatening looking hoodies when one of them called out some insult. Perhaps a reference to the slackness of our mothers vaginas or the gaynes of our leather jackets I forget what it was ..just an insult. Any normal person would put their head down and keep on walking ... Not Phil he turned around gave them the double finger and and shouted GO FUCK YOURSELF GAYBOYS!

Thanks a bunch Phil you prick

Boy did those hoodies move quickly. Suddenly my vision was filled with Kappa, Adidas a Nike logos as they swarmed around us, shoving, sucking their teeth.....

What followed wasn't pretty I got the shit kicked out of me to such an extent that when I was ushering the next day at the wedding nobody from my family recognized me. I look like the elephant man in the photos ;)

I couldn't eat any of the food but did get an awful lot of sympathy drinks bought for me that I drank through a straw
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Wed 20 Mar 2013, 10:11, 2 replies)

poidh

( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Wed 20 Mar 2013, 14:36, closed)

I did consider scanning it in
however it was in the 80's

and I had fucking terrible hair even without the beating I looked like a cunt the resultant pisstaking would make my winky fall off
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 9:24, closed)