I have a love/hate relationship with cinema
I'm finding the fact that the pirate DVD has the anti piracy ad at the beginning hilarious. This must mean that the drugs are kicking in, I crack another beer and pour the cheap lager down my dry throat. I grab the rolling tray while I'm still compis mentis. I dont want to be sober on movie night, the amount of money required to buy tickets for half of us to see this, whatever it is at the cinema cover the DVD the green the beers.

It seems stupid when you think about it, but If i wanted to think I wouldn't be watching this. Some good and thought provoking novel mutilated into 90 minutes of gunwank and lame titillation. Its Hollywood for godsake, the good guys win, the hero gets laid. The only variable is how many explosion there are before then. The credits are nearly over, the conversation dies.

Not all films have to be like this. I have seen some truly spectacular films amongst dozens of crap. I don't believe the hype, and cast a critical eye over everything I see, thats what the chemicals are for. To enable me not to think.

The best film I ever saw was along time ago. years before youtube a website called atomfilms .com offered online videos. At the time this was truly unique and I felt truly privileged to have found it. It took hours for the 17 minute film to load, "dammed if you do" It was called. The story was of a loser dieing at his brothers wedding and being offered the chance while waiting to get into heaven to go to hell where the cool kids go. Reincarnated by the devil he has to break all ten commandments at the wedding. He finally gets to tell the various banes of his life to get fucked, and starts a false idol worshiping cult during the toasts. 'this milk jug in the shape of a cow shall be our salvation! can I get an amen!? '.


It made me laugh, It made me appreciate independent film making, and then it went. Atomfilms no longer hosts it. Its not on iMDBor youtube. Google cant help me.

I think of the one that got away, and open a second beer 'cause Its the only way to sit through the cliche that is 'the movies'.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 17 Jul 2008, 20:21, 2 replies)

Au contraire
It is on IMDB

uk.imdb.com/title/tt0213587/

And it was until recently available to be streamed from here:

video.aol.com/video-detail/damned-if-you-do/1926603605

But it's recently disappeared. You might try emailing atom.com and asking them to rehost it.
( Doomladen ms paint lover, Thu 17 Jul 2008, 21:06, closed)

I owe you one powerpuff boy
By the way I highly recommend you see the film Idiocracy, the resident loon reminded me of its bleak vision for the future
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 17 Jul 2008, 23:17, closed)