I've just bought a house
According to the neighbours, the previous owners were evicted from their rented house due to the vermin caused by them not cleaning. They owned my house for some reason and kicked out the lovely old lady who was renting it so they can move in. It's a small 2 up 2 down with one bedroom halved to fit in a bathroom. There is 1 of me and it's ideal. There were 4 of them, 2 big dogs and several cats. The parents were both alcoholics.

They never cleaned the place while they lived here.

The gaps between the floorboards were full of dirt, 50p jewellery, cotton buds, hair pins, hair and false nails.
There was food splattered on the kitchen walls.
There are drink stains on the bedroom and living room walls.
Rubbish was dumped outside in the garden rather than put in the bin, as was all the dog shit.
Every crack or joint is full of black sticky shit - years worth of dirt, including the frames of the uPVC doors.

The toilet in the bathroom broke about 6 months before they were evicted for not paying the mortgage. It was still broken when I moved in (pump was trashed somehow - 30 minute job for an ametuer like me to fix). The toilet bowl was also covered in shit. The shower curtain used to be blue however it was mostly brown when I arrived.

And I can't get over how many fucking flies there are in this place. Winter has only just finished!
( thistle, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 19:44, 2 replies)

There's a
body under the floorboards methinks
( The Scrunt Wants a Dozen Pints, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 20:26, closed)

It's not under the spare room
as I've had all those up.

The void is only 200mm deep so it would be tricky to fit one in there, maybe it's in the attic.
( thistle, Sat 27 Mar 2010, 20:00, closed)