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This is a question How clean is your house?

"Part of my kitchen floor are thick with dust, grease, part of a broken mug, a few mummified oven-chips, a desiccated used teabag and a couple of pieces of cutlery", says Sandettie Light Vessel Automatic. To most people, that's filth. To some of us, that's dinner. Tell us about squalid homes or obsessive cleaners.

(, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 13:00)
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another "poo in the student house" story
my good friend (who i might add, is psychotically germophobic) was staying around her then-boyfriend's for the night. they'd been out before with his house mates and had a couple of drinks so, inevitably, she had to get up in the middle of the night for the toilet.

out in the hallway, she notices some strange shapes on the floor but doesn't think about this very much because she's plastered.

after staggering into the bathroom, she had to stagger back out again because the smell of poo was so over-powering. at this point, she assumed that one of her then-boyfriend's house mates had a dodgy stomach and had violated the toilet. being so ridiculously germophobic, she decided she couldn't possibly use the toliet anymore. so she goes back to bed, her bladder nearly bursting.

then-boyfriend goes out to explore and makes the unholy error of switching the lights on.

the strange shapes on the floor were little lumps of poo which made a trail. my friend and her then-boyfriend followed it... first to the toilet where the culprit had successfully missed the toilet itself and made a massive mess everywhere, then to one of the house mate's bedrooms.

the trail went right across the room, up the bed and up the house mate's leg. he was unconscious, oblivious... and it wasn't even his room.

Oh and he didn't seem to think they needed to hire a carpet cleaner. perhaps you wouldnt if all your other housemates were insisting that YOU pay for it.
(, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 22:47, Reply)

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