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This is a question How clean is your house?

"Part of my kitchen floor are thick with dust, grease, part of a broken mug, a few mummified oven-chips, a desiccated used teabag and a couple of pieces of cutlery", says Sandettie Light Vessel Automatic. To most people, that's filth. To some of us, that's dinner. Tell us about squalid homes or obsessive cleaners.

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 13:00)
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Entire squad bar me given 50.
I was in the cadets, it was summer, and we were in short sleeve order, being inspected by the real army during a stint of staying with them to get a more accurate feel of what the army is actually like.

Being the aspiring punk I was, I had a bunch of crap around my left wrist, including the top of a four-pack of beer.

Now, I am actually quite intelligent, but can be incredibly stupid at times, though also have something of a reputation for being a wag, or "irritating wise-arsed cunt" as many prefer to call me.

The RSM moved slowly down the line, picking fault with every man, but when he got to me, saw my wrist, and dear gods was STRAIGHT up in my face "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ON THE END OF YOUR FUCKING WRIST YOU FUCKING MORON?" he screamed.

I looked down at my wrist, and in one of those lucidly stupid moments, responded with genuine honesty of what I saw:

"My hand, Sergeant."

And the entire squad bar me was given 50.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 10:06, 3 replies)
This wins this week's 'most irrelevent to the topic in hand' trophy.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 10:18, closed)
Hahahaha
Its about mess, yes it's tenuous, but hey - chill baby - there's more to life than just going on a website with the specific aim of pointing out the faults you perceive other people to have. Why not try ... y'know ... having fun and enjoying life instead?
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 10:26, closed)
THIS
Irrelevant clicks for you. Cynicism is fun, but not when you're all cunty about it.
(syz, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 10:33, closed)
Or the
constant, unwavering desperation to point out the most tenuous of faults..
(I helped save b3ta! whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 10:34, closed)
^^
I couldn't agree more.
(I helped save b3ta! Fat Fred too weird to live, too rare to die, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 13:31, closed)
good story though
Duly clicked.
(I helped save b3ta! rofl harris, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:46, closed)
Ha!!!
Clicks for making me laugh like a twat. Cheers.
(I helped save b3ta! SpankyHanky, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 13:09, closed)
Wish I had.
Good thing Amorous Badger's here, or I might have found this story funny. Narrow escape there!
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 17:00, closed)

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