How clean is your house?"Part of my kitchen floor are thick with dust, grease, part of a broken mug, a few mummified oven-chips, a desiccated used teabag and a couple of pieces of cutlery", says Sandettie Light Vessel Automatic. To most people, that's filth. To some of us, that's dinner. Tell us about squalid homes or obsessive cleaners.
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 13:00)
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Mike the ShitDerby & Rathbone Halls, Liverpool, 1999
Best years of your life etc... We had a communal kitchen on each floor; about 40 students to a kitchen with one tiny fridge. Being frugal, most opted to keep at least a little food in the fridge. Food, marked or unmarked, was snaffled up on a nightly basis by drunkards. Most saw it as collateral damage and accepted it, for others however, tensions ran high.
Some opted for diplomacy and left polite post-its on the door; one man chose direct action. He could have been the target of repeated thefts, but I suspect this was the first time he was a victim...
On returning to the kitchen from a night out, a group of revellers/raiders opened the fridge to find a single, very large (somewhere between a Stella can and a packet of Pringles), khaki-brown shit on neatly folded kitchen paper, with a note that simply read:
"eat this, not my ham"
(Mike's ham had been stolen the night before; Mike did a poo, and placed it in the fridge, it wasn't hard to join the dots. From that day forth he was known as Mike the Shit)
(, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 11:42, 3 replies)
I was in RathboneSomebody urinated in a milk container and popped it into the communal fridge. It stayed there for a whole term, wrapped in a Tesco bag so people didn't have to see it. Only to smell it.
(, Sat 27 Mar 2010, 8:10, closed)
Dale Hall, Carnatic myself...(, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 16:30, closed)
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