Needed a shit and no toilet paper.
Wandering home through the woods one day and I desperately needed a poo. It was a bit of a flappy one and there was fuck all to wipe my arse on, so I took the desperate measure of using the inside bottom of my jacket. A week later there was a bad smell following me everywhere and I remembered what I'd done so chucked it in the washing machine in disgust.
( Brandy_Bumwinkle, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 14:06, 8 replies)

You spent a week wearing a shit stained jacket?
That's rather vile.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 14:09, closed)

No way you big spastic, you're a mentalist.

(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 17:15, closed)

What you're not telling us here is that you never actually washed the jacket.
It's still in the washing machine, isn't it? Because you clearly don't know how to operate one, you fucking disgusting waste of genetic material.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 7:42, closed)

Haha
Best compliment I've had on here.
( Brandy_Bumwinkle, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 11:04, closed)

What's a flappy shit?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 3 Feb 2012, 7:48, closed)

Imagine a toothless old man blowing a raspberry.
While spitting chocolate mousse.
( Brandy_Bumwinkle, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 11:04, closed)

I like this.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 21:37, closed)

lol

( broadsword w⚓, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:54, closed)