Grocery shopping
Not "in your face" but pretty disgusting anyways:
I Had to use the toilets at my local Sainsburys a few weeks ago. I'd normally try to hang on until I got home, but this time nature was going to take it's course whether I did anything about it or not. Walked in just behind another chap - late twenties reasonably dressed, just a bloke. There are only two cubicles and, as I'd normally like a little privacy when making pooing sounds, I'd usually walk straight back out but this time I just had to go.
Plopping sounds
It turned out that this guy also made the usual noises so my potential embarrassment just evaporated. Anyway, I'm out of my stall before him and I'm in the process of giving my hands a good scrub, as you should, when the bloke comes out of his cubicle, walks over towards the sink and just wafts his hands in the general direction of the tap before walking out back into the store. Dirty bastard, I thought to myself.
Dirty cunt
Five minutes later I see him again, sorting through the loose apples, picking out the best the best ones and replacing the others.
This is the real reason why you should always wash your fruit and veg, not because of pesticide or herbicide residuals, but because it is highly likely that some filthy cunt or other has been smearing it with their faeces.
( P-MONKE We're all fucked, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 15:25, 1 reply)

This annoys me too
A chap I work with would have a piss and walk straight out of the toilets. When I asked about washing his hands, he said "My mum taught me no to piss on them" and walked out.

I wonder if he'd have shaken my hand if I had a quick rummage with my todger then offered my hand straight after?
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 7:26, closed)