At Work
We had a brief, inglorious period where there was both a Phantom Shitter and a Phantom Wanker active.

The Phantom Shitter must have been on some sort of special diet, as I once saw he'd left a single turd about a foot long on the floor of a cubicle. This was apparently quite normal.

The Phantom Wanker used to shoot his load up the wall in the toilets and leave for others to discover.

How do we know it wasn't the same person? The Phantom Wanker got caught. He was probably too engrossed to realise the CEO was having a dump in the next cubicle. He waited outside after to see who came out, checked the cubicle to see that it was indeed the elusive wanker, and then summoned the culprit to his office and suggested he find alternative employment. He was last heard of working in an Estate Agent's in Bristol.

The Phantom Shitter remained active for at least another six months. We once worked up a spreadsheet which cross referenced the dates of the final known Shitter incident with the leaving dates of various people, but failed to definitively identify the person responsible.

He's like our very own Jack the Ripper.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 15:33, 4 replies)

Phantom shitters are remarkably common
just ask anyone who's ever worked in a school :)
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 15:34, closed)

I like this.
Also this confirms my prejudice against estate agents.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 15:35, closed)

Obviously it was the CEO what dunnit... "having a dump in the next cubicle", that's practically red handed.
(Nicklock, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 17:42, closed)

A wanker?
Working at an Estate Agents?
( His Popiness the Hole Invaded Poland on, Sat 4 Feb 2012, 17:14, closed)