I'm a little bit ashamed of this one
I once shat myself on my way home following quite a heavy after-work drinking session. After crossing my legs on the train for almost the entire journey, I'd managed to dash across the street and into the nearest pub, getting as far as the toilet cubicle before falling at the final faecal fence. Still being a short bus journey from home, I could only see one way out of this situation. Taking off my shoes and then my jeans, I then pulled my pants off as swiftly as possible, lifted the lid of the toilet cistern and dropped them straight in. Half a roll of toilet paper later and I was decent enough to put my remaining clothes back on and make the journey home. The perfect crime.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 13:15, 2 replies)

I've been there too.
I'd just finished a meal, not really pissed at this point, but my guts howling from the night before. I followed through and cleaned up as best I could. I then told the company I was in I'd forgot my bank card.

thankfully nobody noticed I was wearing different jeans upon my return.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:00, closed)

Lucky escape!

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:15, closed)