depression in a bedsit can make you a lazy cunt
i spent 7 months surviving in that bedsit. i won't say living, because that's not what i was doing. it was the most godawful depressing hovel, but it was all i had. depression led to apathy, which led to me buying paper plates so that i didn't have to wash up. dirty dishes and clothes were shoved into cupboards and forgotten about. it really was horrible.
what turned it around was when i dropped a tub of ice cream on the floor. looking about me, i tried to find something to clean it up. all i could see was a large brown envelope. that would have to do.
i suashed the envelope onto the ice cream, in the vain hope that it would soak it up. it didn't, but that didn't stop me from leaving it there for 3 days, until it pretty much solidified.
eventually, my sister came to visit me.
"what's that envelope doing on the floor?" she asked.
"i put it there to soak up the ice cream i spilled," i replied.
the look she gave me was withering, to say the least. that was when i realised i really couldn't justify how much of a lazy cunt i was being. i knew i had to do something.
within a week, i was out of that shithole and well on my way to a nice new flat. i wasn't depressed any more and, i'm happy to say, i've NEVER let my home get into that kind of state again.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:04, 22 replies)

"ice cream" eh?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:11, closed)

yes
yes it was.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:12, closed)

what flavour ice cream was it?

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:12, closed)

carte d'or chocolate something-or-other

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:13, closed)

You expect us to believe that a depressed woman would leave some chocolate ice-cream in the tub?

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:14, closed)

it had melted
i can't bear melted ice cream :(
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:17, closed)

technically
it's cream.
(username failed moderation, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:36, closed)

"melted" eh?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:56, closed)

all right, that's your lot
you've reached your innuendo and entendre limit for today, sir.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:18, closed)

Reached my innuendo, eh?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 16:13, closed)

"carte d'or chocolate" eh?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:41, closed)

I very briefly went out with a woman in that situation.
The first time I went round to her ‘house’ she was hiding piles of stinking plates, pots and pans into the oven “cos my gran’s coming round later”.
Her dog was suddenly sick in the corner. Feeling like I should do something, I offered to clean it up.
“Leave it. He’ll eat it in a minute.”
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:26, closed)

*boke*
i may have been bad for a while, but i'd never have subjected a poor dog to that kind of crap
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:35, closed)

Dogs choose to eat their own sick.
It's not animal abuse.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 16:17, closed)

i didn't say that was abuse
i was merely saying that the conditions i was living in were unfit for anyone, human or animal. as long as i had no pets, i wasn't subjecting them to what i was putting myself through
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 4 Feb 2012, 16:24, closed)

Eh, I take a dim view of pet owners, anyway.
Dog/cat owners, at least. Freaks, the lot of 'em.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 4 Feb 2012, 20:39, closed)

last pets i had were a tarantula and a carpet python
both dumped on me by ex boyfriends.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 5 Feb 2012, 14:43, closed)

I like this.
Abandonment notwithstanding.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 5 Feb 2012, 22:50, closed)

the spider was great
but the snake was a pain in the arse for going under the stereo cabinet and trying to knock it over
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 7 Feb 2012, 9:55, closed)

Well, I for one applaud your ability to drag yourself back from the brink...

Please consider this 'click' as a token af admiration.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:49, closed)

thank you :)

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:53, closed)

have a click
from me
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Mon 6 Feb 2012, 16:13, closed)