This
Am recuperating after having my shoulder reconstructed a week and a half ago in a private hospital, although funded by the good old NHS.

My bed came equipped with three buttons on the end of a remote lead, one to turn on/off the light, one to call a nurse and one to order tea or coffee. The nurses working there seemed surprised that I might feel that pressing the drink button outside of the hours of normal rounds an unreasonable use of their time...I surely cannot have been the only one.

I only used the "nurse" button once to request some painkillers, which duly turned up within thirty seconds. Do people really confuse a hospital with a four-star hotel?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 2 Mar 2012, 22:59, Reply)