I have the ability...
to flirt with the wrong person, often of the wrong sex, often of the wrong side of the good looking chart. Leading to quite embarrassing situations.

Take for example a night out, not too long ago outside in the smoknig area we had located our spot for the evening, our group a mixed bunch, behind us a table full of girls. There was one I had seen out and about for ages and fancied her, surely this was the perfect time to have a good old fashioned flirt.

Unfortunately, my inner self wouldn't allow this - no that would be too simple, I mean there was banter between our two tables, and I was dressed if I may say so myself rather dashingly. No, what I decide to do is the school boy error, and start chatting up her moon dog friend - of course this will create a sense of longing in the object of my desires she will be flashing me her pork bap in the matter of minutes.

Nope - doesn't work like that, instead I was treated investigating swamp donkeys legs, that she hadn't shaved for a few weeks as she was getting ready for them to be waxed... all nice and prickly.

On other occasions, because I don't really get on with guys, I tend to just turn any conversation into shame faced awkwardness by flirting out ragiously... simple things, stroking of hair, commenting how nicely they smell, rubbing of crotches - you know, the usual.
(feedingtimeatthezoo day 1 of his bikini diet started, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 14:08, Reply)