Nice Monkey...
There's a woman I worked with for a while last year who was drop dead gorgeous, to the extent where I was, and still am, lost for words when I go to talk to her. She has now left and I try and keep in contact but get the feeling she really doesn't fancy me (which sucks). But I can remember one occasion (that won an award at a works Christmas do for most inappropriate innuendo) where I had a PG tips monkey on my desk. I had broken my collar bone and wrapped my x-ray bandage around him as a souvenir.
Que her coming to my desk, spying the PG tips teddy and loudly and innocently saying "Ohh, can I have a look at your monkey please?"
Much laughter ensued and I went bright crimson to match her as she realised what she said...
If only I had some witty comeback she could be looking at my monkey most nights rather than making excuses to avoid me at all costs :p

Length, he's about 4" tall...
(Something funny, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 19:28, 2 replies)

Keep it up
You sound a prime candidate for becoming a stalker. Congratulations!
(Rsoles, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 20:17, closed)

She wasn't interested.
If she wanted to "see your monkey" she wouldn't have stopped with one innuendo.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Tue 23 Feb 2010, 18:58, closed)