Not really me flirting...
But I used to work with a lass who was either very friendly, mental, or wanted a portion of fresh Cowson. Thinking back actually, irrepsective of her friendliness or portion desire, she was clearly a fully-functioning brain and face moron.

She was always asking me how to do things, what to say etc, and being the frankly-one-step-below-Jesus kind of nice guy I am* I was always happy to help. Her cheery waves of thank-yous and beaming grins gradually changed to lingering hand contact, shoulder rubbing and eager 'please look me in the yes so we can have one of those Hollywood style moments like in that film yeah' glances.

I should mention at this point that this young lady, bless her, looked rather like a turnip in the face. A turnip with Jug ears. And she had a goatee beard. A blonde one, but a beard nonetheless. She later left to resume her previous career as an air hostess, one wonders what kind of budget the airline caters for when you get on a plane and the 'glamourous trolley dolly' looks like she was made from leftover bits of grade A mingertron.

IIt got a bit much when she said to me one day 'Oh Gertcha, you're so nice I could kiss you'. It was a gut-style reaction, I didn't mean to hurt her feelings, but I had to stop dead, as if she had just informed me that she had killed my father and turned his cock into a plasticated bum-lance with which to violate those close to me, fix her dead in her wonky eye, and with a resigned sigh, intone:

'No. You fucking couldn't. I would physically restrain you, and possibly call the police. NO.'

Like I said, I'm basically Jesus.

*May be total bollocks.
(Gertcha_cowson NAH MATE, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:53, 5 replies)

This is marvellous, although using the phrase
"as if she had just informed me that she had killed my father and turned his cock into a plasticated bum-lance with which to violate those close to me" is a blatent rip-off from Twelfth Night.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:04, closed)

I am intrigued
by the concept of the "brain and face moron".
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 16:05, closed)

Click
Now it's just a shame you posted that on a Wednesday because I'm not the sort that gives clicks out like candy - that could well have been on the front page.
(mmm....beer, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 18:49, closed)

Budget Airline
I work for a well known budget airline and from your description of her I think I know her. Saying that we've got quite a few that could scare wolves away but we also have a few lovely lasses one of whom is one of them there High Street Honeys in FHM recently.
(Wagane, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 19:03, closed)

Magnificent

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 21:32, closed)