I only attract strange people
it's a sad fact but true. I never ever have nice normal people ask me out. If I want someone nice and normal I'm the one who has to make a move and I'm usually far too shy and un-selfconfident to do any such thing. So in honour of that here are a few of the more bizarre flirting incidents I've come across.

Being a lazy schoolkid I was always the person who missed the train and had to get the next one which was pretty much empty. When I was 13/14 a woman sat down opposite me. Not to be cruel or stereotypical she was a chav- the whole works, pram-face, makeup laden etc. She chatted away to me. Eventually she leaned forward confidentially and opened her shopping bag and showed me some red lingerie. This was getting weird so I sat as far away as possible. She smiled at me and asked if I'd like to see her in it. I was very socially awkward so I simply muttered something polite about going to the loo and fled the carriage.

And for my own flirting fail. Seated with a cute friend of a friend, and the conversation casually drifts to classical music, which I have a tiny bit of knowledge of. Turns out he plays several instruments and classical music is pretty much all he listens to. Aha! I thought. A connection. I can flirt a little bit, show how much we have in common. Asked his favourite composers, and when asked mine I mentioned Beethoven, Barber (for the modern angle) and Shostakovich. And then because I like violin music I stuck Vivaldi on the end of that. And his entire face changed to a mask of disgust. Vivaldi? he said. And literally walked away.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 18:33, 3 replies)

What a cunt
Vivaldi is great
(WhataYob, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 22:47, closed)

People who don't like Vivaldi
Are puppy-kickers. Trufact.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 25 Feb 2010, 8:38, closed)

For violin music you could do worse than to raise
Ed Alleyne-Johnson.

This will get you cross-platform points as he's a classically-trained violinist who tends to play folk with punk bands, and also does quite a lot of acid and get lost in fields.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 11:27, closed)