Does it count if they were never meant to eat it?
I have just started an exchange placement at Louisiana State University. As you probably know, Louisiana was hit by a hurricane recently and although there were very few casualties etc. The power still went out for a few weeks and there was a curfew imposed.

As I am living on campus, I was lucky enough to still have power, due to the Unis huge generator system. Most of the rest of this charming hick town did not. Because of this my flat mate asked if it was ok if a few of his friends stayed round. Being a charitable guy I said yes. Perhaps he took this charity as a weakness, because after one night of two nice quiet ladies on the sofas, he took the piss.

I come back from a shift volunteering (Don't let that fool you, I would never normally lift a finger for my fellow man, let alone volunteer I was just bored)at what had become a soup kitchen. I could smell the weed from the front door. I might add here that I do not judge anyone for their drug habits, I enjoy the very occasional spliff myself. All I expect is some common courtesy and some common sense. Smoking weed in a house of non-smokers...NOT COOL.

Not only was he smoking weed but he had invited all his buddies along. His buddies were not charming Cheech and Chong/Harold and Kumar style stoners. These were south Louisianans yardie Colombian connection.

So here I am in a room full of drug dealers and henchmen and two really dense stereotypical peroxide blondes, who looked and sounded like they were there to take part in some sort of 'Ghetto Gaggers' porno orgy. Fuck me they were retarded. They all invite me to join them in a smoke and seeing as the place is already trashed, I figure I should roll with it (pun intended).

We are all getting fucked and then I see one of the gangstery sorts go through my cupboards. Although I am not about to shout "Oi, *insert racist word here* hands off my Nutra-Grains" to Baton Rouge's answer to Tony Montana I quickly saw that if I was going to sabotage their munchies I had to act quickly.

I reminded my flatmate that he wanted to go pick up some beer. As predicted this starts a flurry of requests for alcohol. In the end half the room leaves for a beer run.

Now I needed to act fast. With the room reduced to more manageable levels, I suggest a smoke outside (to which everyone had no problem with, why didn't they smoke outside in the first place!). A couple of tokes and I say I have reached my limit. I am just a middle class honkey after all. I step inside... Fucking leg it to the kitchen, unload anything that appears steal-able, including cereal, a bottle of wine and of course the glorious Nutra-Grains into a wal-mart bag and stash them in my room.

And that is how is sabotaged the prospective food of a gang of yardies.

I should remind everyone that they did let me smoke lots of their weed with them and looking back, perhaps I am a bit of a cunt for not sharing. Even if they were my emergency hurricane Nutra-Grains.

(Pop! Short time lurker, first time poster)
(Bam Bam McPenis will change all this when he is fuhrer., Fri 19 Sep 2008, 1:35, Reply)