Vege-sabotage
My ex girlfriend's flatmate was an annoying shit. She came from Kensington and was what I call a fashion vegetarian, in that she'll only not eat the cute animals. Chicken and fish are fine but not lamb and pork because they're adorable.

On top of this half arsed attempt to appear "cool" and "liberal", she was a lazy arse who never did her share of the washing up, often leaving pots out for so long I'm pretty sure they could be classified as living organisms, judging by the gunk that was growing on them. And she once left a snotty note asking us not to cook bacon as "the smell offended her".

Anyway, it just so happened that one day I became the possessor of a large quantity of bacon (long story). We had loads and loads of the stuff and me and the exgirlf had no idea what to do with it all since we'd not be able to eat it all before it went nasty.

So we decided to wash up all her flatmate's stuff and put it all away as a goodwill gesture.

Oh, and we rubbed bacon on everything. Seriously, every piece of cutlery, crockery, even her stupid jars of pesto. They all got a bacon rub.

I got dumped before she found out about it unfortunately, darn it.
(GONEism, Fri 19 Sep 2008, 11:20, 2 replies)

got much spare time on your hands?
cos i want to hear the long story
im curious

*holds click to ransom*
( weaver., Tue 23 Sep 2008, 0:04, closed)

Well
my brother in law drove lorries. And he nicked stuff. Ok, so it's not long. But it was still very cool to be asked "hey, did you want a load of bacon?" when I get in the house one day.
(GONEism, Wed 24 Sep 2008, 18:06, closed)