David Winter
.
When I was a young sprog there was 9 day wonder by some bloke called David Winter.

David was a kind of faith-healer and he'd been contacted by this *HUGE* fat lass called Gloria. Gloria wanted David to make her lose weight. The way he did it was quite ingenious.

He had a the local slaughterhouse dump a ton of pig outside Gloria's house and, too make sure that she didn't eat it (or it might have been to stop to rotting) doused it in formaldehyde. Then Mr Winter made Gloria meditate while looking at the pork.

"Every time you're tempted to overeat, just think of this fatty meat. That's what you'll look like if you don't stop eating"

And bugger me if it didn't work. The weight just fell off Gloria and she ended up almost slyph-like.

Of course this story took the imagination of Fleet Street and David Winter became a minor celebrity. He wrote articles, put out a book and started making personal appearances which is where I met him. He'd been invited to open our local Summer Fete and, not only open the Fete, he was going to be the DJ for the Fete Dance.

So there I was in the crowd looking at Mr Winter along with the now famous pile of pig meat. The Vicar came to the microphone and I'll never forget the words he used to introduce him.

"This is D Winter of our disco-tent, who made Gloria slimmer with this ton of pork....."

Cheers

Shoot me, just shoot me now..
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 19 Sep 2008, 12:48, 3 replies)

Bang!
Done.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 19 Sep 2008, 12:49, closed)

Shooting is too good for you.
*Spang*
( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Sep 2008, 12:58, closed)

Welcome to the dark side...

You put up one hell of a fight, but I knew the lure of shit punnage would woo you eventually...

and for a pun, that's a proper 'richard the third'...


Bwwuuuhhahhaaaaa.

*shames*

*goes looking for frankspencer to complete the set*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 23 Sep 2008, 21:47, closed)