FLAMIN' HOT!!!
We were poor growing up and my old man was very strict.

I did cookery at school and would sometimes have to ask him for money to buy the ingredients. Often he would decline saying that we couldn’t afford it or he would refuse on the grounds that the school should supply the ingredients (cheery bastard I know!).

There was one occasion when I did manage to squeeze a few quid out of him to buy the ingredients that I needed to make a curry.

Cooking day comes along and I’m making a keema curry. I’ve added the recommended amount of curry powder but it’s not quite strong enough.
I’m not known for my restraint; so much so that my friends have nicknamed me Suzy XS.
So I add another spoon full of curry powder and taste it again. Still not bloody strong enough!! So I add another. This went on and on and I have no idea how many spoonfuls of curry powder but I guess it was in double figures by the end.

I took my lovingly cooked curry home and Dad says that me and my brothers will be having the curry for our tea (that’s dinner to any Southerners). This is back in the 90’s and I don’t think my brothers had ever had anything remotely spicy (we were an egg and chip/saus and chip kind of family back then).

My Dad would never eat anything that one of his spawn has touched (he thinks kids are dirty and even to this day will not eat anything any of my younger brothers make at school/for his birthdays etc).

So we’re sat at the table and my brothers tell my Dad of their distaste to my super hot curry and in his usual military style, he bellowed “I’ve fucking paid for that ya little shits!! Your sister has made it so you’ll god damned fucking eat it!!”

My Dad was not one to be disobeyed so my brothers and I sat slowly eating our curries. Some of the younger ones had tears rolling down their faces and snot hanging from their little noses from the heat.

After about half and hour of this and more protests from my little brothers, my Dad gave in and tasted the edge of a spoonful.

I got a clip round the ear and the rest went promply in the bin.

I still do this with spice to this day…even when I’m cooking for myself. I just can’t help it.
( DUMBLONDE is a rubber lover girl, Fri 19 Sep 2008, 16:53, 3 replies)

Silly me...
When I started reading this, I thought it was a Rita Sue and Bob too skit.

"Make your own fucking tea"
(Chickenwire social lubricator extraordinaire, Sat 20 Sep 2008, 8:03, closed)

It totally was!
I'm from Bradford. Lol.
( DUMBLONDE is a rubber lover girl, Sun 21 Sep 2008, 4:47, closed)

Shit.
I persuaded myself otherwise. It was. It was. No. It couldn't be. It is. No. IT IS. Never.

Write a reply saying so. No. Yes. No.

/inner monologue.
(Chickenwire social lubricator extraordinaire, Sun 21 Sep 2008, 19:40, closed)