Unintended, but still most definitely sabotage...
Back when I lived in Essex I played pool for my dad's pub team. Every Tuesday was pool night: a few games of pool followed by celebration or commiseration, and then some food, laid on by the home team's pub.

Home games usually involved a huge tray of sandwiches or some weeks sausages and chips. For some reason, when it was sandwiches the egg ones were the most popular by some long margin.

One of the guys on the team was Barry, a strange guy. He was about 6'4", kept very much to himself (in fact he hardly spoke to anyone, ever) and crap at pool. However, he was mad for the food at the end of the night: some had postulated that perhaps it was his only meal of the week, such was his enthusiasm.

The night in question, Barry had played his game of pool and gone to the lounge bar while the match continued. At the end of the night the tray of sandwiches came out and the inevitable "impression of a badly-bahaved Russian bread queue crossed with Hyenas round a carcass" began.

One of my friends had a sandwich in his hand but realised there was only one egg sandwich left on the try so he wouldn't get it in time. What to do? He picked it up with his free hand and licked it, then put it down on the side of the tray, much to everyone's disgust. Still, mission accomplished; the sandwich was his.

Except that then came a thundering of high speed footsteps as Barry realised he was missing his dinner. Thundering in from the lounge bar, he scanned the tray and, spotting his prize, picked up the last remaining egg sandwich and wolfed it down.

At the time, my friend and I fell about laughing, but as I've typed this I've realised how utterly horrible it sounds.


Length? Only a couple of inches, even less if you left the crusts.
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Sat 20 Sep 2008, 13:33, Reply)