I have no idea why I'm making this one public.
I fucking love queefs. I think they are absolutely brilliant and hilarious and the best things in the world. So imagine my joy when I started dating a girl who could queef on command!

So one day she's telling me about how she can do this, and actually demonstrates how she can draw air into her thingywotsit. Seriously, it looked like a gummy old man trying to whistle.

I then happen to notice an untouched glass full of coke on her bedside table with a straw in it.

...well, I'd be crazy not to suggest it wouldn't I?

And so it came to pass that I am lying collapsed on the floor, having the mother of all asthma attacks from laughing, almost literally, my guts out as this amazing young lady blows bubbles in the coke using her ladybits.

And after? She gave it to her sister, and apologised that she'd already sipped the straw. Her sister told her off for leaving it "slobbery".

Not sure how long this will stay up until I feel icky and delete it...
(GONEism, Sat 20 Sep 2008, 22:45, 6 replies)

Aww
I was hoping she was gonna draw coke into it. *click* anyway
(sailorspoon started wiping his own arse from, Sat 20 Sep 2008, 22:47, closed)

I did
suggest it but she was convinced that it would give her coke-snatch cancer or something. I figured this was a fair compromise.
(GONEism, Sat 20 Sep 2008, 22:49, closed)

acksherly
it's a well known fact that coke is an effective spermicide.

They had to find that out somehow, didn't they?

Coke kills off I think 97% of the little wrigglers, whereas diet coke is 100% utterly fatal.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Sat 20 Sep 2008, 22:59, closed)

I realise I am replying to my own reply
But i should mention, when I found this out was when I stopped drinking coke. Aside from them being planet-raping corporate tossers, who would want to drink something so lethal?
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Sun 21 Sep 2008, 0:55, closed)

This I gotta see!

(edit - Try to avoid contact, it stings quite a bit. So I hear.)
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Sat 20 Sep 2008, 23:08, closed)

Frrrrpt
That is absolutely awesome.

...now you have to see if she can inflate a tyre.
(calamarain just invented dehydrated water, Sun 21 Sep 2008, 13:44, closed)