Pissing babooons
Whilst travelling, we pitched up to a campsite. within half an hour, our camp was attacked by baboons. Now, baboons are evil creatures, dont let anyone tell you otherwise. They got into our trailer full of food, and were ripping apart cans with their teeth. evil bastards.

We forgot about this, and decided to go on to our next destination. A few days later, we were cooking over an open fire. This was a large meal for everyone (20 plus), and everyoe was somewhat starving. chicken was chopped, veg was chucked in, and there was a good deal of spices for taste.

We got about an hour into the cooking time before we realized the chicken tasted of methylated spirits. Y'see, the blue-bottomed buggers had managed to open a bottle of the stuff, which we used for cooking when we couldnt get a fire, and poured it liberally over all our food. So we had to throw it all away.

I lost a stone that holiday. Mostly because we would take two bites of food, and realized it still tasted of meths. Tasty blinding meths. If you see a baboon, punch it in the face for me.
(Urban Hermit Exit, pursued by a bear on, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 9:38, 2 replies)

I reckon we should cull them all
to lessen the chance of planet of the apes happening (even if they are monkeys)
(sailorspoon started wiping his own arse from, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 13:45, closed)

For some reason, replacing the word "baboon" with "chav" still seems to keep the feel of this story.

As for punching them in the face, Eddie Izzard is already there. Or sawing some wood.
(Musuko, Wed 24 Sep 2008, 18:04, closed)