This sandwich tastes salty
There was a particularly detestable young lad in our junior school who used to give a mate and I a lot of grief. He was a bit bigger and on the odd occasion would help himself to stuff from our lunchbox with only a punch as a way of thanks.

During the course of the term my mate was unlucky enough (or lucky depending on how you view this story) to have a nasty fall on his bike. He managed to scrape the whole side of his leg and it left a huge roasty (in layman's terms that's a large scab). One evening in the bath the moisture of the water caused the scab to come away from the skin slightly. My friend then pulled it off and was left with a lovely round specimen about 8cm across.

Being of the age where something such as a scab is something not to be wasted he decided to bring it into school the following day. We hatched an ingenious plot and that lunch the scab made its debut on a cheese and ham sandwich. By placing ourselves in prime location for the arrival of the aforementioned bully we were able to engineer the situation so that he ate the scab sandwich in its entirety. Never before and never since has the act of being bullied provided me with such a massive amount of satisfaction.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 12:26, 2 replies)

Gross, but win.

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Mon 22 Sep 2008, 23:30, closed)

*retch*
*click*
(LLamaBoy skived off work on, Wed 24 Sep 2008, 12:12, closed)