Glazed donuts, now with extra aloe.
I didn't sabotage someone else's food; I sabotaged my own. As it was aimed at the shits I was intending, I am quite pleased it hit its mark squarely.

One good way to destroy a casual college dormitory environment (doors open, visitors welcome, stop by and chat or collaborate in study) is to be a stoner who abuses the open door policy to snatch and scarf whatever personal snacks can be seen. Having been the victim of several "whoa, nice grub" attacks, I quickly devised a counter to the practice of a few inconsiderate shits with deaf ears.

Picking up a box of cake donuts from a local bakery, I turned them into glazed donuts using the sap from wild aloe plants growing around the verdant campus. Having warned the most frequent legitimate visitors to my room of my intentions, I left the box open on the usual snack spot and buried my face in a book with back turned to the door. It took about an hour for the first victim, but I knew the trap had been sprung as I heard the simple cry, "alright!" followed almost immediately by a stream of choking and retching sounds.

Raw aloe sap is exceptionally nasty on the palate and tends to stick around for a long while. I have unfortunately been subject to its foul taste after mishandling the spiky fronds and, even after washing my hands, was still contaminated by trace quantities of the stuff. I can't imagine just how bad an entire spoonful's worth all at once would be, as that was the general amount I had slathered over each piece of bait.

I managed to catch another pothead with the poisoned donuts that afternoon, after which I assume word got out I was spiking my food. Fortunately, both jerks had the decency to toss up the foul concoction outside my room.

Had that tactic failed as a deterrent, I would have asked my mother for her favorite "cookies for dogs" recipe, which includes liver and fish paste and looks remarkably like a delicious oatmeal cookie before the first bite is taken. I know of their surprise nastiness after seeing my older brother gobble down a couple from the cooling rack before the taste hit him.
( Felis Concolor, Wed 24 Sep 2008, 12:32, 3 replies)

Pearoast?
I thought I saw this one earlier?
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Wed 24 Sep 2008, 12:34, closed)

yes
so did I
(Stu Moo winner of five nobble piece prizes, Wed 24 Sep 2008, 12:57, closed)

Pearoast
Me too?
(Lip Up Fatty Fatty Reggae still loves BBQ food on, Wed 24 Sep 2008, 12:57, closed)