muaaahaha i just remembered this
'twas the eve of the millenium. me and some friends were having a party at PhilliJoe's folks house. we were all in some kind of fancy dress.
my mate jimmy had consumed a heroic amount of guinness, and ballycastle (a noxious baileys substitue from aldi) and decided he had to vomit.
toilet occupied, he headed for the garden. he didn't want to desecrate the lawn, so he asked me for a receptacle.. in my drunken state i handed him an empty tesco's bag.

at this point i should mention he was wearing a miniskirt, tights, a crop top, toilet paper boobs and a bra and a big floppy dr seuss style union jack hat. he's also the least effeminate shaped one of us at the time.. this helps with the mental image y'see.

he decided that as the garden had a garage at the end that was locked, his best bet to dispose of the now rather full bag was to tie the handles, then swing it round like a one armed backstroke champion, eventually releasing it to describe a graceful arc over the garage into the night beyond.

alas, he failed to take into account his inebriated state, so on about the third revolution of the bag, he managed to hit himself in the back of the leg, sending a shower of curdled baileys and guinness high into tha air, and absolutely covering him and the walls and lawn.


oh how we laughed.


length? average but the explosion of goo was something to behold.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 24 Sep 2008, 23:03, 1 reply)

ahhh baileys
find someone gullibel enough, put baileys and lime into a shot glass and tell them to swirl it about before swallowing it over.

feels and tastes like old sour curdled milk.
(fernbrittonsexcessskin will give a shit later, Wed 24 Sep 2008, 23:46, closed)