When I ran a pub...
I used to work for the 2 joint owners. John, or Spindle due to his ridiculously skinny legs was OK most of the time but the other owner is a very very large Australian called Michael with no sense of decorum at all. Sounds like any Aussie I hear you cry. Your probably right but he had little personal habits that the rest of the staff didn't like, for example, he would always stand very close behind the young female members of staff and touch their shoulder, nothing wrong but intimidating for the younger girls (the older ones told him to fuck off you pervy twunt).

Well one day, I was training a new member off staff on her first shift and she was very nervous and kept dropping things everywhere. To try and make a joke of it, I told her she had better stop dropping things because otherwise Michael might appear behind her and be tempted by the inviting image he was presented with. She laughed and said Michael wouldn't be able to get himself in her anyway as his stomach would stop him and it had probably dropped off through lack of use. Of course, I was laughing and she was laughing all at his enourmous gut, underused penis and pervy nature only to find him standing behind us.

I apologised but the girl never worked in my pub again, although I still kept in touch with her for a little while and she told me she bumped into Michael in the street and tried to chat him up!
(_earwaxuk_, Wed 21 Apr 2004, 8:35, Reply)