I couldn't help it.
One night a girlfriend and I were watching TV and Sarah Palin appeared on the screen. I shook my head. "She's insane, but I'll bet she gives a great blowjob."

The girlfriend (also not a fan of Palin) chuckled. "And how can you tell that?"

"Because she's batshit crazy. The crazy ones always give the best blowjobs."

"Oh yeah? How do you know that?"

"Hell, everyone knows that. Just ask your dad."

I parsed that one through myself as I saw the eruption starting to build, and remembered that her mother has been on lithium for the past thirty plus years. "Ummmm... I didn't mean-"

Let us draw the curtain of charity over the rest of this scene.

It's true, though. And in reality I don't regret that line- hell, a corpse couldn't have resisted that one.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 16 Aug 2012, 18:01, 15 replies)

I don't get it.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 20:08, closed)

I think it has something to do with shitty reclaimed stained glass coffee tables.
Or long term unemployment, I can't be sure.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 20:38, closed)

Lithium ... an anti-psychotic ... The mum was on it. Try reading.
(El Fandango carved a big EF onto his nemesis' doublet on .., Fri 17 Aug 2012, 1:33, closed)

People that live with bat shit crazy parents
think that they are "troubled".
It is only when they get a bit of time and distance away that they realize the "troubled" one actually is bat shit crazy.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 3:10, closed)

To be fair, she acknowledged that her mom was full-on crazy, and not just because of the psych meds she took. The old girl was manic depressive- she told me of a time when her mom bet her dad that she could get to a friend's house faster on foot than he could in a car, and proceeded to run through back yards and tear through hedges to prove her point. (They arrived at the same time, as it happens.)

Nevertheless, I really should have thought that through better before I spoke. The ultimate implication (other than the Your Mum aspect of it) was that either she was batshit insane or a boring lay. It took a bit of tap dancing to get out of that one...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:16, closed)

Why would he imagine that people with mental health issues
are better at oral sex? Other than being depressingly dull-witted, of course.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 7:50, closed)

Because they're generally quite enthusiastic towards sex
as they see it as a bargaining tool and a means of securing a person's affection.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 9:58, closed)

I manage to encourage enthusiasm by being attractive and funny.
I'm well old-fashioned.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 18:36, closed)

Uh huh.
If your charms are to be judged by your presence here, being "old fashioned" means spiking their drinks. As Ogden Nash commented, "Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker." Old fashioned indeed.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 17 Aug 2012, 21:38, closed)

So because I've managed to have relationships that weren't based on emotional insecurity and mental illness I must be a rapist?
Top logic there, captain fruitloop-fucker.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 18 Aug 2012, 9:18, closed)

joke

===============

your head
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sat 18 Aug 2012, 14:43, closed)

actual humour ←                                          ∞                                          → what you understand as humour

actual sex ←                                             ∞                                          → that short and tearful thing you do inside mentally incompetent women

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 18 Aug 2012, 15:33, closed)

Experience.
Some of the best sex I've ever had was with women who turned out to be rather deranged. Just ask your dad if you don't believe me.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 17 Aug 2012, 13:44, closed)

But that's a self-selecting statistic.
Somebody would by necessity have self esteem issues to resort to sex with such a charmless dullard.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 18:34, closed)

Shut up and have sex with my dad.
Then we'll see what's what.

He's bi-polar.
(judgetheobscure used to sweep in butchers' shops., Sun 19 Aug 2012, 3:13, closed)