Ahh, funerals..
I happen to work in a pharmacy in the US, and so every so often someone interesting will come in, and I heard the following story from a regular customer just yesterday...

The man works in a mental hospital, and one of his patients came from a very wealthy family. Her mother, after she retired, spent quite a bit of time planning every detail of her own funeral. She finally died, and last weekend, there was to be a viewing. They tried to move her casket into the room where it was to be held, but it couldn't quite fit, so the men carrying it tilted it to the side to fit it through the door.

Once most of the people had arrived, two men got up to open the casket. In the move, the body had shifted, and the deceased lady was now on her side with her arm stretched out, reaching for them. Her daughter, the mental patient, started screaming, and they jumped to close the casket again. In the rush they hit the low chandelier.

The funeral home was very old, and the chandelier was filthy. In southern regions, such as Florida, where I have the misfortune of living, there are little red and black bugs known as 'love bugs' mainly because they fly around stuck together and die after mating. The chandelier was full of them, because they tend to migrate inside. The formerly fucking insect corpses rained down on the dead woman, which just sent the daughter into more hysterics, and so the funeral director took the handkerchief from her mother's hand that was stretched towards the edge of the casket, and tried to wipe her tears with it.

The mental patient had a breakdown and was hospitalized again.

I thought it was funny, personally..
(Fodqou, Thu 11 May 2006, 21:54, Reply)