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This is a question Gambling

Broke the bank at Las Vegas, or won a packet of smokes for getting your tinkle out in class? Outrageous, heroic or plain stupid bets.

Suggested by SpankyHanky

(, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:04)
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Cigarette Penalty
It was the year 2000, and I arrived in a Spanish coastal town completely alone to start a six-month study placement. As usually happens, I quickly found another lost and lonely soul to pass the time with, and also get hideously drunk.

Jonas (yes! Real name!) was insane and would do anything for some cash. I had more money than sense (even though I only had about 100 pesetas to offer usually) so I would finance his daring pursuits to become infamous. Throughout our time there his feats included diving into the rat-infested port, walking the 20minutes home from the clubs starkers at 8am in the morning on a weekday, eating rubbish, setting fire to his pubes, and downing pints of Jack Daniels. The last one cost me more than 100 pesetas and a new pair of trousers after holding back his hair.

His addiction to risk grew on me, and I started accepting bets myself. I called a massive burly woman "a fucking poof", I ate rubbish, I did some skinny-dipping.

We started playing cards when we had no money to go out. These card games would go on for hours and hours and usually involved simple games like "Snap"for such poker-retarded people as ourselves. We started doing forfeits when we lost. That's when I had to do the worst forfeit of my entire life upon losing three games of Snap in a row. I had to sit and smoke one after the other a pack of cigarettes. Now, I'm a smoker so it wouldn't usually be a hardship. But we'd agreed on Satan's tobacco, the devil of all cancer-sticks.... the Spanish brand of black tobacco "Ducados". If you've never had to smoke one of these devils in stick form, you cannot understand the absolute horror of smoking 20 in a row. I puked for about 3 days, and even now 9 years later the smell of a Ducado is enough to make me gip uncontrollably. I feel sick now.
Good times.
(, Mon 11 May 2009, 16:35, 11 replies)
how can you say this about the nicest cigarette in the world?
(, Mon 11 May 2009, 19:15, closed)
You are sick
Away with you
(, Tue 12 May 2009, 10:13, closed)
100 pesetas?
wow that was like 50p
(, Mon 11 May 2009, 20:51, closed)
you gip uncontrollably?
you must get through some amount of bacon lardons and string
(, Mon 11 May 2009, 20:53, closed)
Whatever do you mean?
"Gip" is Yorkshire speak for almost throw up. You know that "blah" moment when it comes up and goes back down.
(, Tue 12 May 2009, 10:13, closed)
the act of gipping involves tying bits of bacon on a string and inserting them into ones anus. At the moment of orgasm the string and attached bits of bacons are whipped from ones anus which apparently creates a heightened sense of pleasure and hence more intense orgasm, or so i am told....
(, Tue 12 May 2009, 10:16, closed)
What world do you live in?!
Sounds like a fun one.
(, Tue 12 May 2009, 12:13, closed)
This was called wolf-bagging 'round our way.
(, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:38, closed)
They are beautiful cigarettes...
I brought some back - lovely soft packet.
(, Tue 12 May 2009, 1:33, closed)
Anyone who likes Ducados
deserves to be on a register.

Even the Spaniards hardly touch them, that's how BAD they are.
(, Tue 12 May 2009, 10:14, closed)
Anis del Mono
goes well with Ducados. Dead lungs and liver for under 3 euros.
(, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:39, closed)

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