You know you are old when:
Several parts of your body are nearer to the ground than they used to be.

The Prime Minister is younger than you are.

It doesn’t matter that your hair style is out of date. If you have hair, that is.

Tunes played on Radio Two sound groovy instead of pathetic.

You dress for comfort instead of to impress.

You frequently say things like, “Now what did I come in here for?”
even when there is nobody else around.

The stupid things your parents used to say start to make sense.

The names of film stars, household objects and your own children temporarily escape you.

There is always at least one part of your body that’s aching, sore or doesn't work properly.

You think repeats of the Old Grey Whistle Test are much better than the stuff they churn out these days.

You realise you were already an adult before there were such things as calculators, cassette tapes, or polythene carrier bags.

You can embarrass your kids simply by dancing.

You get called ‘Madam’ or ‘Sir’ in shops even when you are not complaining about something.

You know who Al Read, Archie Andrews and Billy Cotton were because you used to listen to them on the wireless.

A clean hankie and a good weepie on TV is a more attractive prospect than going to bed early with your spouse.

You prefer large white cotton underwear.

You catch yourself looking through the ‘gadgets for the elderly’ mail order catalogues with interest instead of derision.

Policemen are not the only ones who look young. Everybody does. Judges, bishops…

You say “AARRGGHH!” whenever you bend down.

Your arm is not long enough for you to focus on small print.

Your children are taller, stronger and faster than you are.

You cannot trust a fart.
(grumpy old ratbag, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 17:39, 2 replies)

Is cutting and pasting from tedious chain emails
also a sign of ageing?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 19:10, closed)

speak for yourself
I stopped trusting farts in my twenties. :(((((
(tjn whizzing on the electric fence of life, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 22:42, closed)