The price of bread
Bumbling around Asda last week at two miles a fortnight, leaning heavily on the trolly - inwardly moaning about the state of my back and arthritic hips - I shrieked aloud at the price of a loaf. Real Mrs Bradys dissipated from my vicinity, rippling away in time with the foul anal emmision that had simultaneously accompanied my verbal outburst and leaving me in splendid isolation, contained in a circle of my own stench. Hirsute eyebrows furrowed in my direction as the old dears tutted and shook their heads in disgust. Cataracts bore into me from all angles.

"Well????" I implored at several decibels, "Since when the sugary fuck* did a standard loaf cost £1.31????? I remember when Hovis was four shillings!!!!"

One or two nodded in agreement, the rest made fast their escape from the stinky loony as I vowed aloud to make my own bastard bread.

*copyright Pooflake 2008
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 18:56, 3 replies)

*is touched*

*Carries on touching*

I can picture you doing this so clearly...

In fact, I can even smell it!

oh, hang on

*Checks undercrackers*

Oh, dear. I'll just leave this click before I go and have a 'tactical wipe'.

*clicks*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 30 Apr 2009, 19:05, closed)

*passes a baby wipe*
There you go love, almost as good as new...
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 19:10, closed)

I tell you what
the price of fucking butter's gone up an 'all!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 30 Apr 2009, 19:15, closed)