Slightly off topic
But it is about my dad, I hope it doesn't happen to me, and I love telling these stories almost as much as he hates me telling these stories.


You see, my dad is blessed with confidence, if you could put it that way. He's never afraid to try something out. Unfortunately, a side effect of this (as well as the fact he edits a parish magazine) is to convince him that he is a natural communicator - i.e. everyone always understands what he means.

In his view, this gives him the zen-like ability to ask a question totally unconnected with the subject he wants to know about, and still expect to be told what he wants to know.

This is A Bad Thing.


Take, for example, a trip we made to Saffron Walden last year. Dad is adamant that we should find the open gardens as soon as possible. Unfortunately, he has no idea where they are. Cue him marching into the nearest boots and having the following conversation:

(To set the scene: He has been standing happily in line for 5 minutes to talk to the girl behind the till, whose mind is no doubt fixed into "serve the customer and get them out the door" mode).


Him (Fixes assistant with beady stare): 'Where is the park?'

Her (train of thought utterly gone): 'What?'

Him: 'The park!'

Her: 'There isn't a park around here'.

Him: 'Well you obviously don't live around here'.

Her: 'Actually, I do...'

Him: 'Well then, you should know where the park is'.

Her: *Bemused*

Him: *Stomps out of the door*




As I pointed out to him later, if someone had come to our village and asked for the open gardens, we would be rightly puzzled. We don't have any. He was still convinced that she should have been able to telepathically understand him.
( MatJ LOOK, Fri 1 May 2009, 1:57, Reply)