Arguments, sex, and the provocative nature of the flame-haired.
Once upon a time, I was friends with a ginger person. A certain ginger person; others have come and gone (oo er madam) but this one sticks in my mind for a couple of reasons. Her name was - let's call her Duracell (since every other bugger in this QOTW is using that term. In point of fact she was a bit hippy and never actually wore black.)

Reason 1: About four years ago, Duracell and I were at the pub - independently, we weren't that good friends. Or so I thought. I didn't even know she was there until round about midnight, an hour before everyone was due to vomit and pass out, when I bumped into her. She promptly dropped what she was doing and grabbed my hand, dragging me into the ladies toilets, where she locked us in a cubicle and proceeded to take off all her clothes.
Now, this isn't as much of a boast as it may sound, because I'm fairly sure that in our joint drunken ineptitude, nothing else actually happened. All witnesses can tell me for certain is that on emerging, I marched back to my table and downed my neglected pint of Guinness, saying it was 'to get rid of the taste'. Unfortunately I'm quite likely to do that sort of thing anyway, so its value as evidence is dubious. Not that I like showing off or owt.

Anyway, the point is that this girl was ginger, and this story became commonly repeated, to the point where a couple of months later it was related with great relish to a girlfriend of mine.

She found it hilarious. Unaccountably, bizarrely HILARIOUS. She would bring it up at any opprtunity, and crease herself laughing like you'd just told her she should spring for a round.
"You had sex with a ginga in the toilets! Bleeheehee!"
"Aha! Ginger face!" etc etc et bloody cetera.
The real clincher came on Valentine's Day that year. This dear, sweet, girlfriend (read: crazy psycho ex, although not redheaded) presented me with a whole heap of presents, lovingly wrapped and presented. I was very impressed at her dedication to this most beautiful and romantic of occasions, and felt extremely bad about only having made her a card and bought her a fucking huge dildo. There must have been about a dozen little gifts in her bag, and she brought them out one by one, letting me open them in a specific order. She'd really thought this out.

I open the first one. Ooh, box of crystallized ginger. I'm a fool for any sweet that used to be a fruit (or thereabouts. See also raisins, dried mango, apricots, etc.) That's really nice of you.

Second present. Some ginger jam. Tasty, but not necessarily what I'd choose Thankyou anyway babe, kisses and so forth

Third box. Ginger biscuits. Ah. I'm beginning to see a pattern here.

Every single gift had ginger in it, or something to do with ginger. The last one was just some root ginger wrapped up, ffs. I think imagination (or Tesco) had failed her by this point.


So my real point is this: what the hell is wrong with some people? I, personally, specifically find redheads attractive. I understand that there's a flipside to this (I'm singling them out for being ginger too), but I cannot see how it's either funny or off-putting that someone's ginger. This girl took the opportunity to use Valentine's Day to rip the piss, because I'd once been involved with a ginger girl. There's some really weird anti-ginger sentiment on this QOTW, some of it even apparently serious. I think anyone who thinks like this is weird, quite frankly. Especially anyone up here in the wild and ginger north, where it's not uncommon. It's a hair colour. So is blonde. Brown, too. Even black! Or sometimes white!

But do you know who I think is weirder? The replies I've seen on this board that involve a concept I've never even heard of before, namely:

"Anti-ginger jokes are EXACTLY LIKE RACISM!!!1!!11"

Apologies to everyone who thinks like this (i.e. has had both a humour and a logic bypass operation*, but for the love of god NO. You are wrong. Not because race is only to do with the colour of your skin ( it isn't), but because gingers are (nowadays) not a race any more than blondes are a race.
It's a physical characteristic, and one that is very easily concealed too (you would have a hard time shaving off all your skin). Granted, taking the piss out of people for physical characteristics isn't pleasant, but you would hardly cry racism if someone was ripping into baldies.
Oh, and that post about the lawyer friend replacing ginger with black or Jew etc: yes, oddly enough altering something to make it racist does make it racist. Who knew.

Let me repeat: NOT RACISM. Reactionary language like that is the reason Godwin's Law came about, and people who descend to using it are worse than Hitler.









*I'm aware it's very easy to bypass the humour when one is ginger and you've had it all your life. I myself unaccountably fail to split my sides when anyone cracks a short joke. Nonetheless, it seems to be not only ginger people spreading this bollocks.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 18:45, 4 replies)

Your ex sounds like a charmer.

( Bats, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 8:27, closed)

Shw was...right up til the point where she raped you in THE MIND. But that's for another QOTW surely?
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 0:46, closed)

Click click fucking click
Winner. Hands down
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 8:57, closed)

This.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 17:03, closed)