Going Too FarEver had one of your mates go too far? Back when I was a teenager I went to stay with a friend in the country. We took his dog for a walk in some woods - which was fun.
We came across a breeding pen for the local pheasant shoot - which was interesting.
But then my friend broke into the cages, grabbed a pheasant, strangled it and proceeded to throw it around, only managing to rescue it from his dog's jaws seconds before a gamekeeper turned up to see what the hell was going on. Now, that was a bit too far...
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chthonic, Fri 10 Nov 2006, 14:11)
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Only ProblemWith this question is what I can write about without:
a) Shocking all of the readers or
b) Having the police kick down my door and haul me away.
So I'll have to be a bit careful.
So a tale about my ex-wife should be safe enough.
After a bitter and nasty divorce, I wasn't, and still aren't, on best terms with my ex-wife. It's all the more difficult as we live in the same tiny village and drink in the same pubs. So childish verbal sniping seems to be the order of the day.
One of my first attacks was recording a song called "Too Many Pasties" and playing down my local pub - my ex has a bit of a weight problem. Think egg-on-legs. But the time I went a little over the top was when she was in the pub with a crowd of her mates.
I was at the bar talking to a couple of blokes, one of who had shagged her while we were still married. (She was that sort of a girl...). Anyway, this bloke said:
"Had a bit of luck today. Found a fiver in the gutter"
"Yeah?" I said. "Last thing I found in the gutter I ended up marrying"
In a voice that carried right around the bar. Ex looked mortified and if looks could kill I'd be 6 foot under.
Cheers
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Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 10 Nov 2006, 14:39,
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