Dave
Dave is a cunt. An absolute shit of a mate, but a mate none the less.
One night, about 17yr old, after maybe a few too many beers, or maybe not enough, myself and two like minded friends decided to fuck up the front garden to his house.
This constituted getting all the For Sale signs that we could find and placing them over his door, then getting all the black bins in the street that we could find and filling the garden with them, there were so many they were literally overflowing.
Now, as this was about 3 in the morning we decided that we wanted to see the sort of confusion/anger that was to become of it from him/his family.
So we rang him a pizza.
And six taxis, from different firms. Then retreated to a safe and conventient corner up the road. His mum, then him told the pizza man to go away, then all the taxis, it was fukcing beatiful, and his face looking up and down the street every time he came out was a fucking picture or purple anger.
After getting bored and cold, we started to walk home, to hear him shout behind us 'BASTARDS'.
So we ran as fast as our doubled up in hyterics bodies could take us and hid behind some cars and a skip for what we thought was a safe amount of time, then continued our journey, thinking 'We got out of that one'.

Then he stared walking towards from down the street like the fukcing terminator, actual steam was coming out the little wankers ears.

The too far bit (for me, everything was fine) was greeting him with 'Dave! Mate! Hows it going? What you been up to man? Any news?' and other complete bollox, then denying any knowledge of what he spoke of with the excuse that we'd been swimming all night.(!?)

He didnt talk to us for ages after that. Although its justified, this sick little cunt threw a traffic cone through someones front room window for NO reason at all, then gets pissed at a few bags of rubbish.

Length and girth. There, i said it.
(Formaly Over say's hello, Wed 15 Nov 2006, 18:20, Reply)