Prompted by the fairly dim mention of tattoos in the newsletter...
I present to you some excellent advice, which comes up any time tattoos are even mentioned, and many times when they are not.

"Don't get a tattoo (or "I would never get a tattoo"). It'll look rubbish when you get older."

Hmm. That's a very good point you have there, person-who-ain't-thought-this-through. But could you clarify something for me?

PWATTT: What?

Why will it look shit?

PWATTT: Well, you'll be old. Your skin'll stretch and sag and so forth.

Really? And that'll ruin the tattoo?

PWATTT: Yeah, so, like...don't bother.

You make a good point. One thing though.

PWATTT: What?

(Deep inhalation) If I'm so saggy and old and droopy, and I'm long past my youth and prime, and the memory of being a bronzed young Adonis/Aphrodite is merely a memory, if not outright fantasy, and I have gone the way of all flesh (downwards and outwards, mostly)...if my scrotum is in fact the least wrinkled part of my body or my tits are best friends with my knees...basically, at the point in my life where being attractive is a distant memory...do you think a tattoo is going to even register when I'm looking in the mirror and bemoaning how fucking unattractive I am? Or do you think I'll be glad to have the memories? Hmmm?

PWATTT: Er...I didn't think of-

Evidently.


The shorter version I use when this comes up in conversation is:

"How's that going to look when you're 80?"
"As shit as the rest of me." (In fact, it's usually "As shit as the rest of me, Mum". I have to say this a lot. I think she just likes hearing the word shit, I guess. Why else would she keep on asking?).
My only explanation for people continuing to come out with this wank about tattoos apparently ageing while you remain in perfect stasis is this: tattoos are stuck in the public psyche as 'something you do to rebel', which means that people assume by the time you're at the tartan-slippers-and-cocoa stage, you won't want it. Of course you're going to regret it. It's a tattoo. Or it could just be that quite a lot of tattoos are shit to begin with.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Sun 23 May 2010, 2:19, 10 replies)

I don't care what it'd look like at 80
I care what I'd think about it next week.

The only reason I don't have a tattoo is that I change my mind so often that I know that no matter what design I chose I'd hate it even before it finished healing.
(xanthine, Sun 23 May 2010, 3:23, closed)

There is that.
My First Tattoo was very important to me. I agonised for weeks over the design...and I had to keep it secret to boot. So I was sneaking off to the tattooist's, consulting over the design, drawing and redrawing it..
And then one day I went 'fuck it' and got something on impulse. Conceived, doodled, booked and inked in a single day. Guess how that worked out?
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Sun 23 May 2010, 11:38, closed)

Kind of a
Dorian Gray theme here.
(roysin, Sun 23 May 2010, 6:12, closed)

I like this.
I've only got the one tattoo so far and plan to have a lot more, and this 'argument' comes up a LOT. I've used pretty much the same response of:

"When I'm old, I'll be saggy and wrinkly all over anyway, so a bit of saggy wrinkly ink here and there really isn't going to matter that much."

Granted, the choice of tattoo will make a difference - I don't think, say, having 'UR A TWAT' inked along your forearm would go down too well with Mavis in the old folks' home.
(Draco Rattus ate all the pies on, Sun 23 May 2010, 7:36, closed)

I've got loads
and more to come... Don't regret one of them and don't care what they'll look like if I get to 80.
(Kip, Sun 23 May 2010, 15:39, closed)

When I was 17 / 18...
...I really wanted a couple of tattoos.

I'm so glad I didn't.
(Colonel Blink is now officially a pretentious prick, Sun 23 May 2010, 21:41, closed)

(sigh)
I can't get the tattoos I want.
Either the technology or human skin isn't up to it.

I want stories written all over, tales of significance, small pieces of good advice, tiny haiku of unutterable beauty all intertwined and networked over my skin.

Many reasons, but the one that will resonate on b3ta is that if someone wants to read the end of the story, they'll have to get me naked...
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Mon 24 May 2010, 17:39, closed)

I'm getting older
And I have a few tattoos. The ones that are fading remind me of what I was doing back then, the ones that are brighter remind me of nearer days and the ones that I'm still to get remind me of the best advice my grandma gave me (and I don't know why I didn't put this in a separate post... it only just occurred to me) "Just becuase you grow old, doesn't mean you have to grow up".
I'll have a sleeve on my left arm by the time I'm finished and if it blurs a bit, so what?
I couldn't give a toss what anyone thinks of them, faded or otherwise, but you just know that one day when the mortician is laying me out, hopefully a long time from now, he or she will look down and think "Well well, never expected to see *that* on an old man".
( difficultchild, Tue 25 May 2010, 4:32, closed)

If you want a tattoo, get a tattoo...
...it's none of my business.

But don't:
- expect me to employ you anywhere other than a building site or a bin van if it's visible when you're wearing work clothing
- expect me to keep a straight face when you wave about the butterfly/flower/Chinese symbol for "peace" (that actually says "wash dark colours separately") just above your arsecheek, while you rave about it, saying "it makes me more... individual"
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Wed 26 May 2010, 13:24, closed)

Wash Dark Colours Separately?
Now THAT would be a funny tattoo.
( difficultchild, Thu 27 May 2010, 8:43, closed)