A local homeless chap...
...once jumped out at me - an eight year old Beetle at the time - and my mum. He was known for talking to himself unintelligably, and was banned from all the local shops for being drunk.

On this occasion, however, he turned and looked me directly in the eye. I'll admit, I was a bit scared (not quite to the level of sharting, but it was touch and go for a while) but I'll never foget those words of wisdom he spoke unto me: "You've only got one head, so make sure you don't lose it."

It's actually sound advice, if you think about it. Anyway, the story goes that he was a brilliant (and rich) scientist, his wife died, and he went crazy and started living in a tent in a field. So really, he must have known what he was talking about.
(beetlejuice Go and boil your bottoms you sons of silly persons, Sun 23 May 2010, 10:39, Reply)