I can't remember her name...
which is bad of me because I remember everyone else.

I'd just come out of a really bad starter marriage, and had been single-ish for about 3 years. When I finally met this girl from the village close by. She was tall, strikingly pretty, and liked a good laugh. We got on great, like I had known her for years.

It all sounds rosey, but she had just split from her long-time-wastrel-boyfriend (who I knew, but not well).

Anyway, Friday neet comes along and I think this girl needs some special treatment. So I arrange one of my special dinners out. At the time there was two Italian restaurants I used to use, one to impress and one that was so good it was guaranteed to bowl them over.

We went out, had a great time. I blew almost 150 briton's pounds on a wonderful dinner - the Amarone Reserve at 30-a-bottle was superb.

At this point, my intentions are less than honourable. I consider doing her in the toilets, but decide better to take her home.

We go back to mine, and we don't waste much time and head upwards. She has this wonderful navy blue underwear ensemble going on, she smells fantastic, and she's lay in my bed with her fingers in her hair.

Then the slope gets slippery.

It's Dolmio Week. Ok, that happens - I could go for the wrong-un, but no... I know there are other ways to impress and be impressed. So we get sweaty, and it all feels perfect.

I lean over her and say softly "This is perfect. I don't want it to end. We should go out properly". "Sure" says she, "wey hey" thinks I.

We lie back... smoke another Benson and Hedges for smoky room effect, and drift off into a wonderful spoony sleep.

Following day, she goes back to her hobo boyfriend, watching him drink black-cans.

I often wondered how long I could have had my head betwixt her legs if I hadn't said what I said.

Ah well, that was 15 years ago. I saw her recently. She looks like shit.
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 7:38, 1 reply)

"Starter marriage"
I love it. I can't remember who said it, but the upshot was they reckoned marriage (i.e. for "life") was outdated and people should sign 3, 5, 10-year contracts or whatever with the option to renew at the end.
(JohabMorelli is spenging merrily away, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 9:54, closed)