two girls, one lift
went drinking with a friend (named as b) back on leave from the army, we ended up a little gigglely after a bottle of wine each, no problem there what-so-ever.

i kinda had a boyfriend at the time, (lets call him x)an excuse for a man, soppy, nieve and one of those iritating christians who try to convert strangers over a pint. need i say more, he was a sympathy date, who i was only with to keep the family happy, as "he was such a nice boy"

x came down to the pub, pissing most people off with his, "where do you think your going when you die" routine so i go outside for a sneaky fag (he didn't know i smoked) and started talking to a gorgeous sweet bloke (who we'll call c) who looked a mix between johnny depp and mackenize crook (yes i know, odd, but i thought phwoar!!)

b from the army comes over, turns out she knows this bloke (c) whos now rolling a fag for me (sweet, i know).

he knew her from a few years back when she was best friends with c's best mates girlfriend. and all those years ago, b got very drunk with her friend and ended up getting a little jiggy infront of both the boys..

so c starts off the conversation, mentioning the incident that had happened, promting b to retort back that she still was slightly swayed by women (as was I now, apparently) and that me and her were actually planning a porn movie, in a lift.

hot, sweaty, hardcore sex between to v hot girls (well, im hot anyway), describing in explicit detail what we were going to do to each other, what camera angles would be used, the whole shibang.

needless to say, he was hooked. found me on facebook and started the beautiful romance. finally found the reason to leave the christian too!

so yeah, i pulled my now current boyfriend with porn!


(i actually found out from c's mate who was there at the time, that when he first saw me at the bar he thought i was the most beautiful girl he'd seen in a long while, and was determinded to get me somehow anyway...)
(mcspannered yes m'lord, Sat 30 Aug 2008, 15:12, 5 replies)

Wow
You're quite a catch.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sat 30 Aug 2008, 20:03, closed)

Ladies and Gentlemen
I present you with:
VICKY POLLARD
"and shazzer said that wayne and destiny did it, and that.." Look familiar?
Obviously NOT aimed at MM.
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Sat 30 Aug 2008, 20:52, closed)

I
couldn't follow a word of that.

Except that you think you're Gods Gift.
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 3:43, closed)

I know eactly what you mean...
If you like, fancy me why don't you just say so? God, this is exactly like the time Miss Rennig, who everyone knows is a total lesbian, made Candice Burton stay behind after PE, started telling her off for gobbing on Sunita Geschwani's hair. But everyone knows she only made her stay late because she wanted to get off with her, cuz when she was telling her off her legs were wide open and Candice reckons she could see her spider.
(apologies_for_length, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 12:01, closed)

Sorry..
But most of that was gibberish. It'd be easier to follow if you used names (fake names are fine) rather than letters.
( gareth_alien will be human again at, Mon 1 Sep 2008, 10:42, closed)