Carpe Diem
Festivals are great. I'd never been to one before and had a top time at Glastonbury with some mates this year. After three days of booze, dancing badly to bands, camping, aquiring a mexican poncho stylee thing & glowsticks plus several different hats I thought I had it all figured out. We had a great time wandering about the little cafe places, eating over priced but delicious take away food and seeing some awesome acts. Of course in the evening you have to unwind and for those of you who have yet to enjoy the chaotic goodness that is Glasto, the stone circle is basically the place to go in the evenings. Its a big stretch of hillside you can head for where you can sit around bonfires, meet other merry inebriated revelers and basically talk shite till the early hours. You can also laugh while various plebs do not-quite-so-professional fire breathing & dancing and the old pros launch chinese lanterns into the night which always gets everyone going wooo! as the next one sails off into the night sky..

Anyway, I was out there on the last night and left the gang and general hubbub in search of the loos down at the bottom of the hill.. I was "really quite surprised" when out of the blue a very warm, very fit and very drunk girl ran over, threw her arms around and pressed herself against me. Maybe it was the glowsticks in my ten gallon hat, maybe she was a sucker for guys in crap mexican poncho getup, or maybe she'd just had way too much stella.. regardless she seemed warm, curvy and well up for getting to know me better. Well hello..! (thinks the part of my brain that speaks in the voice of Leslie Philips) as she goes straight for the in depth snog and my hands start tracking down her waist and onto the top of her toned rump. Out of nowhere I had suddenly gained every drunken man's dream girl and if anything she seemed to view me in the same way!?! (Definitely too much stella) This is sadly where is all goes a bit wrong.. despite having had at least a couple of shandys the annoying part of my brain that is always right (and tends to ruin my life) had been "doing the math". The short term benefits were immense, being a hot chick who seemed up for going back to my tent for a night of athletic rumpy pumpy. The slightly longer term outlook was quite bad.. she was clearly quite wasted and the likelihood of her chundering everywhere seemed scarily high. - Plus if she was happy enough to jump on me out of nowhere she'd probably already shagged her way around most of Glastonbury!? Hmm, it didn't really seem right so I brought up the fact that I had a (quite fictional) girlfriend. "That's alright, I've got a boyfriend! (hic)" she slurs and tries for another snog. Eventually I convince her in a friendly way that I'm not the one for her and that I am deeply in love with and dedicated to my imaginary girlfriend. - So that was that, I'd blown a definite shag, and our relationship had lasted all of five minutes.. she staggered off and no doubt found a new best friend and I finally got to go for a pee. Ahhh..

~~~ Epilogue ~~~

When I woke up the next day I was hungover, dehydrated, had got only a couple of hours sleep and the fresh memory of how I'd turned down a fit enthusiastic lass despite having been single for ages. To top it all I'd suddenly developed a KILLER sore throat. Speaking was hard, coughing agony and eating solid food near impossible. - Regrets? I've had a few. - Looking back in mild agony I was somewhat bitter that I didn't make the most of the extreme good fortune that had been bestowed on me. It would have made feeling utterly shite somewhat easier to live with. *sighs*

Length..? bah, the glasto-flu lasted at least three weeks in which time I infected most of my work place. meh heh heh.. (though not through direct transmission.)
(OrangeMochaFrappuccino last watched Dexter on, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 20:29, 2 replies)

The disappointment may last for a while
but the herpes would've lasted for life
( greedyostrich Cheese is evil! Cheddar is VOODOO!, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 23:35, closed)

RE: The disappointment may last for a while
Yeah.. it would be hard to enjoy next years Glasto if my bits fell off.
(OrangeMochaFrappuccino last watched Dexter on, Mon 1 Sep 2008, 20:34, closed)