Narky trumpy Gramps
I lived with my dad's parents for a few months when I was in my late teens. Their house always smelt like a wet nappy full of sprouts. My Grampy was always in mood and would mostly sit at a table by the living room window filling in his pools coupon.

Once, my Nan asked him if he would put the bin out. Bearing in mind she hadn't asked him before, he replied like a lion ripping the flesh out of a downed antelope, savouring the first word of his outburst with rancid bile, "Al-right, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright Love. Don't go on."

I found his hypocrisy mildly amusing.

Also when he walked upstairs, he'd audibly fart on every step.

And he used to drink the water from boiled cabbage. Which probably explains the farting.

He also had a lump on his head and when asked what it was, he said it was where a giraffe bit him.

Oh, and my Nan used to make brawn.
(daddypigsaw Geddinthebackothevan!, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:24, Reply)