When I was a young fella we were learning about stories and their morals and all that guff. We each had to present a story with a moral. So I told the class about my grandpa. He was in the trenches WW1 and his major ordered him to sneak forward at night and observe the enemy. Grandpa did this and hid in a foxhole.

He was there all night and it was cold so he drank some whisky, and then some more, and soon enough he was pissed as a chook. Unfortunately though, just when he was at peak merriment, some dirty hun came sneaking up. So he fixed his bayonet and aimed his rifle at the oncoming soldiers and fired at the first one, then the second, and so on until his 10 shot magazine was empty. Then he leapt out of his foxhole and charged the remaining soldiers, stabbing and slashing them mercilessly. His bayonet came loose though so he had to use his rifle butt to smash the heads of the remaining germans. When they were dead he returned to his trench and was hailed a hero.

'Thats a great story Uzzard' said the teacher 'but what is the moral?'

'Dont fuck with grandpa when he's on the piss' I said.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Sat 4 Jun 2011, 6:23, 4 replies)

Old - it works better with Aunty Joan.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 4 Jun 2011, 6:25, closed)

I'll check with you before I tell another one if thats ok.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Sat 4 Jun 2011, 6:30, closed)

No worries - check with Aunty Joan as well tho, she can be a mean drunk.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 4 Jun 2011, 7:02, closed)

and every time he told that story
There was at least another German in it.
(Mackeson_drinker, Sat 4 Jun 2011, 6:34, closed)