The passive-aggressive guilt tripMy mother is an expert in the guilt-trip. Last week she phoned to say "Happy Birthday" and, after a 10 minute conversation, finished with, "Well, I hope you have a nicer time than I did on the day you were born."
She also stated that she was going to kill herself when she reached 65. On Christmas Day morning. Having rung up to see if there was anything she could bring for lunch.
I think it's just a mother thing, but how good are your relatives and friends at the passive-aggessive?
(
chthonic, Thu 13 Oct 2005, 9:52)
« Go Back
How To Turn Your Child into a Self-Loathing Alcoholic in Three Easy Steps - A
Guide for ParentsMy Mother in Law seems to be absolutely convinced her daughter will become an alcoholic, so much so, in fact, that she seems hell-bent on making it happen. So the other night I sent her this handy guide based on her recent behaviour. Yes, we were pretty pissed...
Step 1:
Berate your progeny severely whenever they enjoy a few glasses of wine over a friendly game of school-night Scrabble, keep this up whenever you observe any sign that alcohol has been involved in any kind of enjoyment. Remember, you must keep up the pressure that they _will_ become an alcohlolic if any kind of fun is alcohol related, _especially_ if it involves sex.
Step 2:
Apply emotional pressure. Yes, that's right, do everything in your power to make them feel _guilty_ about enjoying themselves, cry if necessary. Guilt is your best friend, not only will it twist them into associating alcohol with guilt, but with a bit of luck, it might twist them into associating _any_ kind of pleasure with guilt. This is especially important if you want to prevent your son/daughter enjoying any kind of sexual activity.
Step 3:
This is the real clincher. Once you have attained the 'power of guilt' by carefully following steps one and two, start a competition with your son/daughter as to who can abstain from alcohol and/or pleasurable activity* the longest. During this period, be unobtainably pious in everything you do - Remember, you do not drink, you do not enjoy loud music, you do not have fun, and you _especially_ do not enjoy sex. If the emotional pressure has been applied correctly in step two, this will ensure that when they do lapse (and they will - well, we're all human, aren't we?), the guilt will be so unbearably great that they will feel like a complete and utter failure.
If you have follwed these steps carefully, you will have sucessfully turned your son/daughter into a mass of guilt-ridden self-loathing, and once this emotional bonfire is fuelled by alcohol, it will ensure that they will never again know the true pleasure of pure, uninhibited fun.
* No, that doesn't include gardening or DIY.
Fortunately, she took it well, so I'm still in posession of my dangly bits...
first post, woohoo!
(, Sat 15 Oct 2005, 15:31, Reply)
« Go Back