I felt no guilt and I'd laugh at it again. probably.
Picture the scene, 5.37pm Friday, just jumped on the train after a long hard week at work - Sweating and swearing under my breath about the general misgivings of the previous 5 days of banality and half-arsed sexual innuendo.

A moment of silence when the trains pulls from the station, bliss! Until someone's Sunny Delight-riddled bundle of (fucking) 'joy' bumps into my legs running backwards and forwards down the train. I breathe in and don't even give an inkling to the parent that this may be terribly annoying, after all speaking to strangers on trains is...well...strange, and best avoided.

10 long minutes pass whilst the annoyance of the seemingly duracel-battery-operated trouser-spawn continues. Until the train pulls into the station.....Alas, poor Timmy / Timmetta (I forget which sex the kid was) seemingly doesn't have the greatest balance when the speed decreases and does a (pretty amazing technique) arced dive through the air into the doors of the train.

"HA! I knew that would happen" I think for a split second...

I double check the kid's not dead (I don't actually care, but it might look bad in front of the other passengers), a second later the parent appears and gathers the poor thing up - wailing away, as you'd expect.

I think my tasty internal laugh is over, but no! there's more fun to be had, the parent takes the clearly shellshocked nipper into the first glass section and sits on the nearest seat whilst she comforts Timmy/Timmetta - sadly she doesn't notice his/her hand reaching behind her when the 1st class area automatic door shuts, on said kid's hand.

"HA!" I think again. "HA HA FUCKING HA"

I don't even dislike kids, but that's what a week in the office does to me. A horrible heartless fuck I am indeed.
(Pat_Gash, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 15:50, 2 replies)

I know what you mean after a mind bending week, to put up with a little scrote like that...
(swissheavy, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 17:33, closed)

Have a click
For "duracell-battery-operated trouser-spawn". And I can't stand children like this even before working for a full hellish week.
(Draco Rattus ate all the pies on, Sun 25 Jul 2010, 8:12, closed)