Back in the day...
...when I was but a young lad, having passed my driving test and secured myself a beat-up old Ford Escort as my first steed, I enjoyed that very special feeling of freedom that only the summer holidays after the final year of secondary school can bring - no longer a boy, still not yet a man: teetering on the precipice of the responsibility abyss.

On some level, we knew that these days were numbered, so we took full advantage of the freedom of youth: driving around the countryside for hours and hours in my trusty "Charleen" (for that was her name) smoking copious amounts of ganja and listening to the gods of the six-stringed chordophone: Hendrix, Page, Zappa, Townshend, et al.

My friend lived in a cottage deep in the local countryside, and I used to love my responsibilities as the designated driver when he was out because, as we drove the 5 or 6 miles of single-track road up to his house in the wee small hours of the morning, we had a competition of sorts on the way.

You see, there were scores of wild rabbits that hopped and bounced around on the single-track road at night, seemingly oblivious to their inevitable, 1 ton, 40MPH fate:

*THUDDUMPH* *swerves to get the next one* *THUDDUMPH*

"Over there - there's a big one!"

*THUDDUMPH* - 10 points.

*THUDDUMPH* "That was only a baby - you only get 5 points for that one."

I'm almost positive that this endeavour cost me the opportunity to smash some teenage pasties on more than one occasion.

Teenage girls don't find this kind of behaviour nearly as funny as teenage boys do.
(god_is_a_ghoti Carpe Deum., Thu 22 Jul 2010, 18:15, 4 replies)

Thank you for the expression:
"smash some teenage pasties". That will stay with me forever, god bless you!

But: what the shaven fuck did you put in the Escort to get it to weigh 1.5 tons?

:@ )
( blyerkit e k trilby, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 19:29, closed)

Ok, maybe a slight overestimate....
A ton sound about right? I don't fucking know....
(god_is_a_ghoti Carpe Deum., Thu 22 Jul 2010, 20:03, closed)

Depends how old an escort
They range from about 800kgs for the old mk1s up to 1200kgs ish for the late models.
So yeah, about a ton.
(Hairy Bob, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 21:18, closed)

She was a 'B' plate...
...so, Mark III?

Behold! Charleen. (Well, same colour/era, but she was a fatter 5-door bitch and had bunny blood on her front bumper...)


(god_is_a_ghoti Carpe Deum., Thu 22 Jul 2010, 21:38, closed)

How vile

( rabbitz, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 15:31, closed)