I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Oh yes I frigging did.

Yet again, this particular funeral involves my evil bastard of a brother in law. He wasn't dead, he was just a fellow mourner.

This was the funeral of my uncle Mick. His actual name was James Arthur, but he was born with ginger hair, so in the true politically correct style of the time, he was nicknamed Mick (as he looked a bit Irish) and it stuck.

OK, as always, there were certain factors fighting against me, and I shall list them thusly:

1: Funerals are always a time of emotion, and I have ALWAYS got into the giggle loop at funerals. Always. And I was very fond of Mick. He was a cracking bloke.

2: My brother in law, sister and I had a couple of pre-funeral stiffeners (phnar phnar) so we could get through the service a bit more easily without dissolving into sobbing wrecks. Yeah. We thought it was a good idea at the time.

Anyway.

It was a busy day at the Norwich City Crematorium, not helped by the fact it was pissing down with rain. Everything was running a bit late, and we were all ushered in about 10 minutes after the time the funeral was supposed to start. Anyway, the coffin is brought in and put on the bier at the front of the chapel. The vicar comes forward and stands by the lectern.

Although my uncle was a slightly religious man (church on Sundays if he could be arsed), it was clear that they had got this priest from Central Casting, and he did not know my uncle one bit. Rather than being outraged as the altar-boy fiddler bumbled his way through the eulogy, my brother in law and I decided to step into the giggle loop. This was not helped by the fact that my sister was shooting us glances with the kind of ice behind them that would have met Lord Kelvin leap up and down with joy at the proof of his theories. Instead of remedying our stifled laughter, it made our shoulders shake more. I actually thought I was going to cause an aneurysm if I kept it in any more.

Did I mention as family we were in the front row? We were in the front row.

Eventually the vicar said "and we all know that Mike was a family man..." Mike? Who, in the name of the Sweet Virgin Mary's unploughed clopper was Mike?! A tthis stage I could hide it no more, I let go, but luckily managed to turn it into a noise that sounded like a prize heiffer being disembowelled, but passed off (somehow) as a sob. My mother, blissfully unaware of the giggle-loopage, put a hand on my shoulder and passed a kleenex. Luckily, we then reached the curtain-close-and-off-you-go-for-your-last-sauna stage of proceedings, and we all shuffled out.

From a distance, a touching scene was seen of a man consoling his younger brother-in law, who was kneeling down, clutching his sides, shoulders shaking and with tears coming down his cheeks. Oh if they only knew, I would have been fully disowned, and likely excommunicated.

My brother in law tells me that he was "off games" from my sister for at least a month following this event.
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Fri 23 Jul 2010, 16:14, 6 replies)

Excellent
*duly clicked*

cracking material today! i'm loving it.
(Psymon_Spark Jesus Saves! The rest of you take 4d6 damage, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 16:36, closed)

This is click-worthy on the basis of "Who, in the name of the Sweet Virgin Mary's unploughed clopper was Mike?" alone.

Well done,sir.
(anvil, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 16:51, closed)

My friend and his brother got a fit of the giggles at their nan's funeral
all thanks to the hymn "All Things Bright And Beautiful", when they got to the line "The purple-headed mountain..."
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:15, closed)

I too...
...have been amused by that very line at a funeral when my father pointed it out on the hymn sheet. The person who wrote it must of had a sense of humour :D
(fearsome mumbler is shit at telling stories, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 19:49, closed)

That
got me and my uncle when people sang it at my grandma's funeral my mum kept digging me in the side to get me to stop giggling.
(FootOfTim, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 23:31, closed)

"a noise that sounded like a prize heiffer being disembowelled"
Worth a click for that alone, I'm still chuckling.
(richardm, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 12:10, closed)