Visiting Castles
I went with a group of friends last summer to a few castles etc. in Somerset. Most of them were quite nice, pay a pound to get in affairs run by volunteers. Towards the end of the day we reached a Tudor house with nice gardens and go inside for a quick look around. Before we get more than a step inside the door, the 200-year-old volunteer grabs us.

"Wait and I'll give you the introduction." he said, and started talking about metalwork and the war and his grandpa, who worked here back when he was a lad. We nod politely and smile and check our watches, when another hapless group of victims walk in. Without breaking his stride, the man goes right back to the beginning of his story- "I'll just let you catch up,"- and we have to listen to the whole thing again. Nearing the end, we start to look hopeful when a third group of people come in. Stuck in some kind of rut, the man starts his story again.

We all try not to groan and don't look at each other, because the second group has just realised what's going on and have a look close to pure horror, and the third group are eyeing the growing crowd with suspicion, and it's obvious no-one's listening to this old dear. A fourth group of people start to approach, and L suddenly makes a strangled shriek and doubles over, clutching her stomach. Without another word she runs outside and we can hear her crying with laughter. The old man looks at her husband, who shrugs and deadpans: "Must have been something she ate. Keep talking."

The man smiles and (finally!) finishes his story. We go into the house and find L, who is still laughing uncontrollably. She calms down as we look around the rooms, and then realises that to get out of the house she'll have to walk past the old dear again. She hides at the top of the stairs, watching him in the hope that he'll nod off, but he doesn't. We take pity on her and walk out with her. We smile at the man as we walk past.

"Thank you! It was very interesting!" we call out to him as we walk by, making him beam happily. Beside us, L starts shaking with suppressed laughter. When we got outside she was actually in hysterics.

I don't know if it's inappropriate, but that's the lengths some people go to to try not to laugh at inappropriate moments...
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Sun 25 Jul 2010, 11:18, Reply)