Haha! He IS a shit AmBadge impersonator!
From the paraphrase of 'so basically your story is..' to accusations of internet autisms.

B+ for effort Rory Lyon! Now say MASSIVE DRUGS! Hurrah! :D
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 22:07, 1 reply)

Unemployed
haha
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 22:13, closed)

I hope you get massively depressed and kill yourself

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 22:14, closed)

or get a job in McDonalds
I don't really care
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 22:14, closed)

Oh God I weep bitter tears
having read some of your posts you seem to be a cross between Spankyhanky and legless, fucking hell :((
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 22:27, closed)

I've been out of university exactly four weeks; I'm already dead; can't work in catering due to hygiene issues e.g. rotting flesh dropping off;
..and you just dedicated three (ninja edit: four) comments to me without addressing the fact that you desperately want to be this forum's premier troll, but we already have him so you're entirely superfluous.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 22:28, closed)

You're a long streak of piss and no mistake
your unemployment/menial job credentials will thankfully stick with you lulz
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 22:36, closed)

Ninja edit: five.
But at least you're getting personal. That's not really Badger's style. May be hope for you yet.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 22:40, closed)

Why does that require a ninja edit you prick ?
Yes, five posts mocking the dolescum; dump the gay earrings not even Mcdonalds will accept you at this rate. You've wasted your time at university doing a shit and pointless degree, accumulated thousands of debt, and only now the terrible realisation that you're a streak of piss who is unemployable has finally set in.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 22:48, closed)

Fucking hell, get a grip.
You're turning into Rathen.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 28 Jul 2010, 23:16, closed)

I'm a prick too! Excellent.
The amusing thing is...well, one of the amusing things, anyway...is that I only bothered adding anything to my profile a couple of days ago. You'd have been pretty much buggered for an argument if I hadn't, wouldn't you? Maybe you'd have mocked me for internet cowardice...I dunno.

Anyway, I'll hand you some more ammo for your worthless tirade, mostly because you need a new note, even if a new tune is beyond your modest capabilities: I moved back in with my parents too. I'm not dolescum though.

Now, let's get one thing entirely clear in this light. No, I don't have a job that you would endorse. The horror, how can I go on, etc. Nonetheless, you know literally nothing about me except what's up on this website, you have no idea what I'm doing, planning to do or intending to do with my life.
And it really doesn't matter, because regardless of how awesome your life may be, you're doing a crap imitation of someone who A) has his corner of the B3ta mockery-market sewn up quite nicely and B) isn't particularly worth imitating in the first place, and your only response to that being pointed out is to use the word 'prick' like you just heard it in the playground and make with the piss-weak ad hominem (don't dare accuse me of being pretentious, sig-boy).

I know it's a long shot, and my pointing it out probably reduces the odds right to zero, since me and Badger clash regularly, but I would so love to see you get your own place in the Fail Archive under something like 'desperate prick tries and fails to be me'. You'd probably need to make a whole post of your own though, rather than sniping in the comments.

Apologies for length, but let's face it, you love the attention. You're only getting it this hard once though, because you're boring. Badger's alright except for his inflated sense of self-importance; all you've got is, apparently, his sense of self importance, recycled and liberally doused with a slightly obscene slang term for the penis.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 23:41, closed)

I like how you've gone away and thought about that response
*huff huff huff* but it's still shit gay boy. Dump the gay earrings ffs and at least try and make yourself presentable for an interview at Argos. Your shit prose ain't gonna cut the mustard on the warehouse floor, so best to stay mute.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 28 Jul 2010, 23:53, closed)

Someone once said to me on b3ta
" 'Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt." (ta for that libman, if you're reading this).

Applicable here? I'd think so.

*awaits inevitable flaming from poor-excuse-of-a-troll*

Edit: Oh aye, to OP, enjoyed the post! Found it rather good!
(General_Manchego, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 0:09, closed)

Confucius or Sun Tzu, right?

( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 29 Jul 2010, 8:29, closed)

fuck off piston

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 9:32, closed)

Thank you!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 8:43, closed)

I'm enjoying ruining your shit story
Pistons presence only adds to the faecal smears
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 9:34, closed)

Be fair
People don't actually have to read the comments, and in all honesty, people are probably just having a good giggle at your expense. Including me.

I'd rather like to see this story win the QOTW to A) prove the troll wrong B) preserve this troll's comments for all eternity and C) the story's well written, and a better interpretation of laughing in church than I managed!
(General_Manchego, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 9:48, closed)

fuck off piston

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 9:50, closed)

Nice try
But I am not Piston. I am an entirely different person.

However, I imagine you are the kind of person who enjoys spreading dissent (or is it dysentry? I forget) in an Internet forum, where it is meant to be a happy place for a bunch of slightly twisted buggers tell stories to make us laugh! If you don't like that, you are on the wrong website my friend.

Now i think about it, must be dissent. I'd laugh if it was dysentry, and so far you have not made me laugh.
(General_Manchego, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 10:12, closed)

fuck off piston

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 11:01, closed)

Honda Accord

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 8:28, closed)

Is your vehicle of choice to the dole office

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 29 Jul 2010, 9:31, closed)